Even though we all hope our marriage will last forever, many marriages end in divorce.
A long-lasting marriage needs commitment, good communication and a good dose of love and affection. Try these seven tips for a happy marriage:
Create your own rituals
It could be as simple as making your husband a quick breakfast before going to work. Whatever you choose, a ‘couples’ ritual is a way to connect with your partner in the madness of a busy life. “If your partner says they love you and demonstrates that with consistent gestures, you can believe it.”
Learn to communicate
If you or your hubby is a poor communicator, don’t just put up with it. Being able to talk openly with your partner is a sign of a strong marriage. “Develop your skills – read books, observe good communicators and ask them about technique, ask for feedback, practice. “Communication skills enhance all areas of your life – home and work. Develop it now! – no excuses.”
Discuss your views on paying bills and savings before you tie the knot. You need to come up with the new blended way you both will do things. It’s easy to have a major joint account where you both must tell each other what you do, and a minor private account each where you can be yourself without having to justify what you spend.”
Respect and affection are deal breakers
Small gestures matter – if you want your marriage to last, keep reminding each other that you love each other and nurture your relationship with kind words. You need to treat each other preciously – not for granted. Some people say ‘I love you’, and some people will show ‘I love you’ – make sure that your partner understands your message, and work out what you both need then try to accommodate each other.
Adultery and jealousy are different things
No matter how hard a marriage may seem at times, and while having affair might be exciting, almost everyone involved – children included – are destined to be harmed. Either you are in or out – never humiliate your partner by duplicity. On the other hand, if your partner is jealous, and there is no reason for this, nip it in the bud. It is not cute or sweet, it is inappropriate, and can lead to violence. Get help. See a counsellor, and explore the past and work on this.”
Make room for sex
If you and your hubby’s libidos are matched evenly, don’t worry if sex takes a back seat on having kids. If one wants more nookie than the other, make room for sex in a busy schedule. That might mean getting enough rest and sleep the night before, cancelling any other commitments, getting the kids minded, turning off your phones and computers, and doing nice things to each other. Think about what the other person wants, not just what you feel like giving.
Put your marriage first
Having a happy marriage means being prepared to take turns with life’s stages. You can still work towards your goals, but maybe they will take longer to achieve, because right now you choose to help your husband study for a post grad course, or delay moving interstate so he can care for his elderly father. And, for those bored with their partner, slow and steady beats the highs and lows of an anxious passion anytime.
There are two aspects that glue lovers together in the long term: like and respect.