Children are a gift from God, but they can also be problematic when it comes to keeping the spark alive between you and your spouse.
I have been co-sleeping since the day my daughter was born. Even though we bought a bassinet and a cot before her arrival… she’s just not about that ‘sleeping alone’ life. She’s 9 months now. Hubby and I enjoy her company in our room, but sometimes, mummy and daddy need some time. So how do you get your mummy and daddy time when you have a baby in your bed?
Babies have a way of distracting their mummies. For hubby and I, sex was easier when my Fifi was under 6 months of age. She slept a lot.
Now that Fifi has developed a permanent ‘I-wake-up-at-the-slightest-noise’ sleep habit, things have changed. She turned into a very light sleeper. She touches me just to be sure I’m not going anywhere. That makes it tough to squeeze in any action with daddy! Sex in our bed while Fifi was sleeping was completely out of the question. So, what have we done to keep the passion alive?
Quickies. Yes – quickies. As soon as we get into the mood, we have both learnt how to make 2 minutes count! Forget foreplay. Get some lubricants and let the games begin.
Plan sex. Sometimes, we take Fifi to her grannies’ and have them babysit her. This way, we can do more than the quickie- get to spend some time on foreplay, and the actual you know.
Explore other rooms. If you don’t want to wake the baby, then don’t have sex where he or she is sleeping. Go to the kitchen counter (Yes! the kitchen counter), the bathroom, guest room, and obviously, the couch or the rug. There’s no rule that says sex should only be done in the master bedroom. You only limit your sex life if you limit yourself to only having sex in your bedroom. There is a whole house to be explored!
Sometimes, ‘just the tip’ is enough. If opportunities for sex are not coming through, squeeze in a little extra E-zone stroking throughout the week.
The truth is, our sex life has changed since Fifi was born, but hubby and I both know that this is temporary. We will soon be free to “do” when the mood strikes. Until then, we do what we can to keep the romance alive. Remember, having a baby sleeping in your bed doesn’t mean you’ll never have sex again. You just have to manage the situation.
And by the way, if you have older kids, put a lock on your bedroom door today! It’s totally OK for your kids to know Mummy and Daddy regularly take “private time” together. Don’t worry about not being there for them if they really need you. That’s what knocking is for! Remember the greatest gift you can give your kids is a loving relationship between their mum and dad. Set boundaries for your children and make your partner a priority.
Best of luck!